Welcome to My Criminal Mind

 Never Thought About Breaking The Law Until...

Most of you have never had to worry about going hungry or where you're going to sleep. And that's great. 

I never thought I would have to worry about these things too, until one day I did.

That terrible growling and painful cramping of being hungry. It's not just a feeling but a physical feeling as well. Your whole body aches and you feel sick, Your stomach feels like it's eating itself and your mind plays stupid games with you to fill the hunger. 

You'd eat things that you wouldn't ever eat, but it doesn't matter, just as long as you are not hungry anymore. 

Your thoughts start racing, and you become really desperate and anything to stop this hunger will be great. And I mean anything. 

You would never kill someone, and you would never rob a bank, but maybe doing something really stupid like some kind of crime could pay off. But nobody gets hurt. It can't be violent and no kids or old people. 

Can't believe what you are about to do.  Can't believe that this is even going through your mind right at that moment. 

You could also have kids and they too are hungry, and now the pressure is wearing on you. The kids are crying and the spouse is getting on your last nerves. 

Crying won't help you, and begging is a hard thing to do. You don't want other people to know that you are out on the street. That you can't provide. 

It's embarrassing and shameful. You came from a good family. But guess what? You are hungry and the kids are hungry and it's getting cold outside. You're so tired. What do you do? 

Swallow your pride and go beg people to help you, ask for their change? Maybe, have to go to the Safeway and pack a cart and hope you can get away with it out the door? Or maybe have to do just a small crime, like a BNE or a smash-and-grab? Quick cash and nobody will know it was you? 

Being a criminal isn't just waking up and you decide that crime will be your new thing to make money. How did this come to be like this? Why am I the one to be punished in this way? I have an education, I had great jobs, and I worked hard most of my adult life up until this bullshit moment. 

Becoming a criminal isn't something that we're born with. It's just a thing that comes into some of our lives. It just isn't a choice, but a decision. It's a form of art in some circumstances. Some criminals make it a job and a career. They are the professional criminal that does the big heists. The big dogs on the block. They pull off bank robberies, shootings, drug dealing, gun smuggling, etc. 

People sometimes are forced into a corner and they can't afford to make the wrong decision. Everything is falling apart and about to lose the kids, and myself. Not doing so good mentally and emotionally and physically. 

Letting yourself down is the worst feeling, and realizing that you have failed to be a parent and your mind tells you that you are worthless and useless and you don't deserve to live. 

Struggling and being a terrible person is the only thing that crosses your mind. You put yourself into the ground and nothing will pull you out but for you. So, what do you do? 

The one thing that you'd never do in your life...

But it's you or go hungry and your kids. And that is not an option. 

How far will you actually go? Your family is everything. It will only be just one time. Right? Or what?