I Want To Say Something...

 With All The Fuckery In The World...

You would think that by now, we would all be like hitmen or bosses. Right? It's like so many people out there are just out to fuck you over however they can. 

I don't understand why anyone would want to, but they don't care. They don't care if they have no friends, because the people they hang out with are just like them. 

Why hang out with good people when it's so much more fun and you get so much more stuff when you and your so-called friends can rip it off someone else. Stealing is so wrong, yet, so many of you do it all the time. 

You might not get caught today or tomorrow, but you will get caught. You will have to face the music that you built for yourself. Then those people that you hang out with will not be there for you. They will turn on you and blame everything on you. 

I was helping someone all winter long. I gave my home and my time to this person. I even helped do their taxes and find them a new home, but in the end, I get burnt. He took some building keys that were left at the front door of my building. Then I get blamed because the person tried to get into the building and my landlady caught him, but when she asked if they lived here, they said "Yes, in 10*" But the landlady knew better and asked for the keys. They hopped back onto their bike and took off. Not giving back the keys. 

Now I am getting in shit for anything and everything because the landlady doesn't believe me that I didn't give them the keys or something. She is all over me for everything now. Like as if I had planned it or something. 

I know I am responsible for my guests that come over, but for the times that they are doing stupid shit and I have no clue that they are doing it, it's not my responsibility what they do. Especially when I have no clue that they are even here. 

But, I do see the other side of this bullshit too. I understand that it's for the safety of other tenants. I don't know what that person is capable of doing, but I kinda know that they would never hurt someone, but they would rip you off in a second. 

I can't really say that they would be honest either. I had $5 for my son one day on the edge of the couch. When my son was ready to use it, it was gone. But my friend had put it in his pocket and said it was laying on the floor. Either way, if it was on the floor, then it must be mine and shouldn't they give it to me, and not put it in their pocket? 

I wouldn't fuck off with someone's money from their home. If I found money on the floor, I would give it back, and tell them that it was on the floor. Not hide it and not say anything. 

So, right at that moment I knew that they couldn't be trusted in my home. And I had to keep a close eye on them. Make sure that nothing was takeable for them, and not leave the room for more than a minute or two. Pretty bad, right? 

You're probably thinking, why have this person in your home then?

Well, it's not that easy. They come to my place for a reason. I buy stuff from them. I can't say what I buy, and I would hope that nobody judges me for that habit. But I do smoke. And not just cigarettes. 

Yes, they bring me ganja. I would rather buy it from a pot store, but I don't like the fact that I have to pay anything to the government.  I pay them fuckers enough each year, and I don't think supporting them is the best way. So, I get it from the streets. Well, the streets come here. See my issue?

I know that I have been lied to and stolen from a lot and I know that they are not my real friends and that they will do whatever they can to survive. I am nobody. I know nobody really and I like to keep it that way. 

I just don't understand how people can be so ruthless and careless for others and their belongings. If someone wants something and you have it, they will take it. Anything of value anyway. Trust me, I have learned that nobody from that side of the fence will ever be honest and solid enough to trust. 

I am just angry that these people think they are better and won't get caught. They never get caught. That's what is funny too. They always get caught. These people have been in and out of jail for many years. It's like their second home. They don't really have a first home either, so, going to jail is nothing and it won't be their first or last time behind bars. 

The many things that this life has shown me and made me learn really quick. I had to learn about people and what they actually stand for. Who they try to be and what their purpose is on this planet. 

I mean by this is what they did before they became this other useless thing on this planet. What they are trying to make for themselves now and what they plan to do for you. Plus, if they are always scoping your home and shit, it's a sign that they will take something of yours each and every time they are at your home. Plan to put what is valuable away and not keep anything that you want to keep in their way. It will go missing. 

Now that I have that off the mind I have another issue that is bothering me about people. It's all about taking advantage of someone. I really have a hard-on for this bullshit too. I guess that if you know someone who is so kind and generous that you can play the victim and they will fall for your sad story. 

Play the part and they will fall for it, I am one of those people that has a big heart and I don't know the word "NO."

I do know the word, but I am not one of those people that can sit back and watch someone be a failure. I hate that they can't see it for themselves and I want to help if I can. I really do understand that the world is a tough place. I get that. I was one of those people out there in the cold. I was caught up with some bullshit in my life and it took me on a run for a few years. 

It took a lot of my years and my kids years away that I can never get back. I had to do some real thinking and some time behind the bars to realize that what I was doing was not me. It was something that was part of life when I hooked up with someone who was always doing something illegal. ALWAYS. I didn't see it at the time, but when things got a bit heated up for him, I believed him and went along with everything. Not thinking about anyone but myself and how to help this guy I just met out and keep him safe. I was his shield and it was taken too far. He used me and played me and told me things that I wanted to hear from a partner. I was WAY THE FUCK OFF. 

Trusting a criminal was the first thing I SHOULD HAVE NEVER DONE. But I was young and dumb, and I liked being on the other side of the fence, but not in the way that he took me. 

His way was all fucked up and very wrong. I was in love and did what I could for him. Believing that I would never be caught and neither would he if I protected him. I never had a criminal record until him. I never thought about that. I thought since I was never on the wrong side, that I was never going to get into trouble. Like I would just be slapped on the hands and let free. I never meant to do it, kind of thing. 

That doesn't work in the real world. I was going down with the ship if I got caught. And that I did. The more I was caught, the more I had to be punished. I never knew the law until I met him. 

The fuckery just got worse, and so did the punishments. There was no turning back now. I had been in trouble and headed down the wrong path. I was not thinking about the future after that. I didn't have one with a record. I still don't have a future really. My kids do. They will not do the shit I did. Nor will they fall for stupid shit like I did. 

I have been trying to make things right with them for years and it's not as easy as you might think. My oldest still is hating me. My oldest son too. The two young ones, they had no clue. But still, I did not lie to them and I told them always to be honest with me and in their lives. Not to do the shit I did for anyone or any reason. To live life on the right side of the fence. It's much easier and nothing holding their futures back.

Always be straightforward and not ever be a sheep and follow people but yourself. Always be a wolf I say. It's not that I want to make them hate people. But to always see them for what they really are. Never trust anyone and always listen to your gut.  

It's a hard life for kids now in this day and age. They have a lot of things that we never had and they are going to try different things and do things that we as parents won't agree on, but at least for them to be smart about it. 

It's okay to tell people to fuck off and to go to hell. People are just people. They will go away or stop doing something if nobody else is for it. People don't like to do bad things alone. So, if they are alone, they won't be doing stupid shit as much. Right? 

Life is full of bullshit and the people that bring the bullshit are getting to be more and more I have noticed. But at least I won't have to go through as much as I have and I can tell my kids what to watch out for and not to do. They will be kids and want to do shit anyway, but for them to see what happens comes from experience and not to do things that can or will hurt them. 

I can't stop everything they do, but use their own heads and their own minds and not listen to others. Use their own brains and make that call. Some kids will not use their brains and end up dead or in jail. They are not worth saving and my kids will not be one of those. I hope that they will become great in their careers and make great parents and wives and husbands one day. Find peace and love in their lives. 

I am not judging people but I am seeing people for what they are and making up my mind if they are worth my time or not. It's not judging but making the right choice. 

I don't like what has become of our planet and the people on it have changed for the worst. I live here and I work here. I don't need friends but I do need a solid partner and my kids. I speak from the heart and I might not know everything out there, but I do know a lot and I hope my words and experience in life will help others and even my children one day. 

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for a lot more. 

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It's okay to be different and to be humble and smart. Just don't give it up for something that you know will not be there in the morning. 

Love does not hurt and it does not lie and cheat. Don't fall for just words, and protect your heart until it's time to give it away to one special person. You'll know when. Don't be blinded though. Love will shine the way on the path and you must follow it.